The most challenging thing about having big dreams is that sometimes you will fail... One of my goals is to compete at the professional level. I have twice at this point in my short pool career, and both times were the result of winning a tournament. The first time, I won the NWPA's Year End Event in 2008 that was a qualifier for the 2009 WPBA San Diego Classic. The second was by winning the 2011 US Amateur Championships, which earned me the opportunity to compete at the 2012 WPBA US Open. I have received many invitations to play on the WPBA since my first time, but typically the opportunity came up on such short notice that I was unable to attend. Now that I have achieved that certain position, I feel like I need to work even harder to earn my way back onto the WPBA. One friend told me that receiving the invitations means that I have already earned it, but I just don't agree. I am not sure why, but in my mind I just don't want to be a filler. I don't want to be considered a bye. I want to get better and give every ounce of myself in the battle. My journey will continue and as I gain experience and knowledge, I know that I can compete at that level.
I was very close to earning my third opportunity this last weekend, one match away to be exact. I finished 3rd place at the NWPA's 3rd tour stop of the 2013 season. If I would have won the semifinal (against someone I had already beat once on the A side) I would have earned a paid entry to the Ultimate 10 Ball Championship in Tunica, MS. Although this is not a WPBA event, the WPBA has made it a points ranking event, so all of the top players are going to be there: Allison Fisher, Kelly Fisher, Siming Chen, Ga Young Kim, and many many more. I could have been a contender and paid the $500 entry fee to go, but I wanted to earn it and I just couldn't get it done. It's heartbreaking to be so close and have the wheels fall off, shoot the whole damn thing fell apart. I must have scratched 10 times in our short race to six, even shorter because I didn't win a rack. And you know what happens when you are struggling, you get absolutely no rolls, not one... Brutal, painful, and totally necessary for me to grow into the person that I will be next time. I still need some time to be able to look objectively at what happened. Everything I tried to do to stay present, let mistakes go, and focus on what I was doing didn't work. It was like there was a force in the room, the harder I tried the further I fell. Absolutely the worst feeling in pool that I can imagine. I felt like everything I had done up until that point didn't matter. But I suppose once I can overcome that, I will be the stronger for it... Not sure when I will pick up my cue again, I have a month until the next one. Lots of time to sort through things and get my mind right. I know I will, even if it isn't today :). Hope you have a fantastic day! Thanks for reading :)
WPBA San Diego Classic 2009, Photo by Anne Craig
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
This Moment
For those of you that know me, the fact that I am interested in writing on this topic should not come as a surprise. Those closest to me know that I am a highly analytical person, often unable to control the expansive series of processes that are my mind. I am who I am so, instead of changing that, I have shifted my efforts to harnessing my mental capacity. Let's go back in time briefly.
About eighteen months ago, I achieved my highest level of performance on the pool table. In fall of 2011, I actually won three tournaments in a row, a qualifier for the US Amateur Championships, the Women's Master Single's title at the Western BCA Regional 9 Ball Championships, and the ladies division title at the US Amateur Championships. I was elated that I could perform under that kind of pressure in back to back to back events. That being said, I haven't won a tournament since. I can't help but feel like there is something missing. I have solid fundamentals, excellent equipment, and practice as much as I can with what free time I have. So why can't I win???
In the time leading up to those wins in the fall of 2011, I had been focusing all of my energy on being present, in this moment. When I would start making mistakes, instead of focusing on trying to figure out why I just made that mistake, I would constantly bring myself to center by saying "I am sitting in my chair. I am waiting for my turn." and when it was my turn at the table I would focus on making this ball with position for that ball. That was it, no rocket science, no ground breaking discovery. I had to let everything go. All of my expectations, all of my doubts, everything.... I truly believe that this is the absolute key to success both on and off the pool table. Putting myself in the right frame of mind to achieve optimimum performance is the first part, while putting myself in the position to perform at a higher level is the second. Essentially both parts are critical. If I wasn't putting myself in the position to lose big, I may never win big...
Truth be told, the better that you get at this game the harder it gets to win. Top level pool players are everywhere and until you get the experience of performing consistently under the same type of conditions, you won't be winning much of anything. I was recently in Reno for the US Bar Table Championships and a good friend was telling me what they were told the best thing about being a pro is... and that is that amateurs will fold because they are an amateur. They just don't have the mental edge they need to execute. People playing top pros will dog shots and fail to run out when they should, just because of who they are playing (knowing that their opponent will get out if they don't). I have experienced this first hand during the 2012 WPBA US Open. I played Allison Fisher in the first round (brutal draw, yes, but I was thrilled). I jumped out to a 2-0 lead, then faltered in several racks throughout the rest of the match; overstroking, understroking, you name it, I did it, or didn't do it, however you want to look at it. My confidence was high starting out, but slowly waned throughout the match with each error that I made in execution. The final 2-9 score was not because I didn't have opportunities, it was because I didn't/couldn't capitalize. Painful as it was, I learned more about myself during that match than I did while winning the most prestigious amateur event in the US. I will never know how far I can go, unless I continue to put myself in positions to play the worlds best.
In 2013, I will continue to work on my mental game and hopefully achieve more successful outcomes in my pool tournaments. I have lots of opportunities for success, so am hopeful that by staying present I will minimize my errors and make better decisions during competition.
Off the table, I have just begun a 21 day meditation challenge, called Perfect Health with Deepak Chopra and Oprah as its facilitators. I am also reading The Art of Learning by Josh Waitzkin and have several other books that have been recommended to me by my health/pool mentor. By refining strategies to center myself, I hope to find a balance in my physical, mental, and spiritual well being that will correlate to my ability to achieve optimum levels of performance on the pool table. We'll see how all of this works out. Bottom line, if you can not be here, right now, you are never going to achieve the prowess you desire at any skill. I am very interested in receiving feedback on this piece because I know that many pool players hone their mental strengths through various media and exercises. What are you doing? What are you reading? How are you going to take it to the next level?
Come back soon, more exciting pieces are in the works :) Let's do this... SOS
About eighteen months ago, I achieved my highest level of performance on the pool table. In fall of 2011, I actually won three tournaments in a row, a qualifier for the US Amateur Championships, the Women's Master Single's title at the Western BCA Regional 9 Ball Championships, and the ladies division title at the US Amateur Championships. I was elated that I could perform under that kind of pressure in back to back to back events. That being said, I haven't won a tournament since. I can't help but feel like there is something missing. I have solid fundamentals, excellent equipment, and practice as much as I can with what free time I have. So why can't I win???
In the time leading up to those wins in the fall of 2011, I had been focusing all of my energy on being present, in this moment. When I would start making mistakes, instead of focusing on trying to figure out why I just made that mistake, I would constantly bring myself to center by saying "I am sitting in my chair. I am waiting for my turn." and when it was my turn at the table I would focus on making this ball with position for that ball. That was it, no rocket science, no ground breaking discovery. I had to let everything go. All of my expectations, all of my doubts, everything.... I truly believe that this is the absolute key to success both on and off the pool table. Putting myself in the right frame of mind to achieve optimimum performance is the first part, while putting myself in the position to perform at a higher level is the second. Essentially both parts are critical. If I wasn't putting myself in the position to lose big, I may never win big...
Truth be told, the better that you get at this game the harder it gets to win. Top level pool players are everywhere and until you get the experience of performing consistently under the same type of conditions, you won't be winning much of anything. I was recently in Reno for the US Bar Table Championships and a good friend was telling me what they were told the best thing about being a pro is... and that is that amateurs will fold because they are an amateur. They just don't have the mental edge they need to execute. People playing top pros will dog shots and fail to run out when they should, just because of who they are playing (knowing that their opponent will get out if they don't). I have experienced this first hand during the 2012 WPBA US Open. I played Allison Fisher in the first round (brutal draw, yes, but I was thrilled). I jumped out to a 2-0 lead, then faltered in several racks throughout the rest of the match; overstroking, understroking, you name it, I did it, or didn't do it, however you want to look at it. My confidence was high starting out, but slowly waned throughout the match with each error that I made in execution. The final 2-9 score was not because I didn't have opportunities, it was because I didn't/couldn't capitalize. Painful as it was, I learned more about myself during that match than I did while winning the most prestigious amateur event in the US. I will never know how far I can go, unless I continue to put myself in positions to play the worlds best.
In 2013, I will continue to work on my mental game and hopefully achieve more successful outcomes in my pool tournaments. I have lots of opportunities for success, so am hopeful that by staying present I will minimize my errors and make better decisions during competition.
Off the table, I have just begun a 21 day meditation challenge, called Perfect Health with Deepak Chopra and Oprah as its facilitators. I am also reading The Art of Learning by Josh Waitzkin and have several other books that have been recommended to me by my health/pool mentor. By refining strategies to center myself, I hope to find a balance in my physical, mental, and spiritual well being that will correlate to my ability to achieve optimum levels of performance on the pool table. We'll see how all of this works out. Bottom line, if you can not be here, right now, you are never going to achieve the prowess you desire at any skill. I am very interested in receiving feedback on this piece because I know that many pool players hone their mental strengths through various media and exercises. What are you doing? What are you reading? How are you going to take it to the next level?
Come back soon, more exciting pieces are in the works :) Let's do this... SOS
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