The most challenging thing about having big dreams is that sometimes you will fail... One of my goals is to compete at the professional level. I have twice at this point in my short pool career, and both times were the result of winning a tournament. The first time, I won the NWPA's Year End Event in 2008 that was a qualifier for the 2009 WPBA San Diego Classic. The second was by winning the 2011 US Amateur Championships, which earned me the opportunity to compete at the 2012 WPBA US Open. I have received many invitations to play on the WPBA since my first time, but typically the opportunity came up on such short notice that I was unable to attend. Now that I have achieved that certain position, I feel like I need to work even harder to earn my way back onto the WPBA. One friend told me that receiving the invitations means that I have already earned it, but I just don't agree. I am not sure why, but in my mind I just don't want to be a filler. I don't want to be considered a bye. I want to get better and give every ounce of myself in the battle. My journey will continue and as I gain experience and knowledge, I know that I can compete at that level.
I was very close to earning my third opportunity this last weekend, one match away to be exact. I finished 3rd place at the NWPA's 3rd tour stop of the 2013 season. If I would have won the semifinal (against someone I had already beat once on the A side) I would have earned a paid entry to the Ultimate 10 Ball Championship in Tunica, MS. Although this is not a WPBA event, the WPBA has made it a points ranking event, so all of the top players are going to be there: Allison Fisher, Kelly Fisher, Siming Chen, Ga Young Kim, and many many more. I could have been a contender and paid the $500 entry fee to go, but I wanted to earn it and I just couldn't get it done. It's heartbreaking to be so close and have the wheels fall off, shoot the whole damn thing fell apart. I must have scratched 10 times in our short race to six, even shorter because I didn't win a rack. And you know what happens when you are struggling, you get absolutely no rolls, not one... Brutal, painful, and totally necessary for me to grow into the person that I will be next time. I still need some time to be able to look objectively at what happened. Everything I tried to do to stay present, let mistakes go, and focus on what I was doing didn't work. It was like there was a force in the room, the harder I tried the further I fell. Absolutely the worst feeling in pool that I can imagine. I felt like everything I had done up until that point didn't matter. But I suppose once I can overcome that, I will be the stronger for it... Not sure when I will pick up my cue again, I have a month until the next one. Lots of time to sort through things and get my mind right. I know I will, even if it isn't today :). Hope you have a fantastic day! Thanks for reading :)
