America's Lone Star Kim White-Newsome: A Matter of Integrity (Nov 2013)

                                                       

Photo courtesy of Sandro Menzel

Anyone who has had the opportunity to meet Kim White-Newsome, aka Lone Star, knows she doesn’t mess around. Whether it is as a competitor, as a tournament director, as a board member, as a horseman, or as a wife, Kim always establishes her boundaries upfront and often, to make it clear to anyone that might be thinking they can pull one over on her that that just isn’t going to happen. According to Kim her tone is often mistaken for harshness, but I generally feel that Kim is one of the most respectful, honest, and hardworking women in the American pool scene, and anyone who isn’t trying to pull a fast one is going to appreciate her straight forward approach to getting things done. 

Based out of Houston, TX, Kim is and has been the house pro at Bogie’s Billiards for over 25 years.  Kim is also a touring pro for the Women’s Professional Billiards Association (WPBA), where she and her husband John are also Board Members, she runs the Lone Star Tour, and she is actively involved in supporting her communities’ charity and junior organizations.  Simply put, there just isn’t anything she is not involved with for pool in the Houston area, so when I approached her for this interview, as you can imagine, I was very excited to have the opportunity to get her story, both old and new, and provide our readers with deep insight into what makes Ms. Lone Star tick.

Kim was born in Houston, TX April 17, 1972.  She was one of two children adopted by her parents, George Goodwin and Betty Edwards.  George was “a real cowboy, carpenter by trade” and Betty was an Executive Assistant nearly all of her life.  At only 4 years old, George died suddenly and unexpectedly of a rare bone cancer.  I asked Kim if she had any memories of her father and she said she didn’t, she was just too young to recall.  Betty remarried a few years later to who Kim considers her “dad”, John Edwards. John owns a Pest Control company and has been married to Betty for more than 30 years now.

Being the first baby in their family, Kim developed a very close relationship with her maternal grandmother.  As a child, Grandma Edwards would take Kim out to the country to visit her great aunts and to a stable just out of town, where Kim developed her love for horses in an equestrian relationship with “Sarge”.  Grandma even bought Kim her first horse, when she was only 16 years of age.  From that moment on, Kim has always owned horses. She still does to this day.

Kim started playing pool in 1988. She was 16 years old and the boy she was dating at the time had a table in his home.  “I was captivated by that table, but the boys would never let me play. When my boyfriend and his brothers retired to other activities, I would hit balls in secrecy. I think that’s when I fell in love with pool.” Although Kim broke up with the boy, she never broke up with pool. She blossomed into a fierce competitor, taking her lumps at the local pool room.  I asked her if there were any players that had a significant influence on her as a player and she recalled “an older black man, a former 70’s champion who spent countless hours playing and sharing his knowledge with me.”  Kim called James “Nana”, but to others he was “99”.  Kim fondly recalled how much gamble Nana had, that he would play for days straight, she would be glued to her seat watching and learning.  After he would win, “He would always throw me a jelly.”  I had never heard this term before, but essentially when you are sweating the action obviously in favor of one player, you can alter the energy, give them good luck or whatever you want to call it.  A “jelly” is a kick back for your support.

Straight out of high school, Kim worked for a couple law firms, but spent her evenings and weekends at the pool room.  She became a seasoned gambler in those early years.  She recalled that “no matter where I was, practicing or playing tournaments, someone was always asking to play”.  One of her earlier memories was of a guy asking to play for $2 a game.  He kept pressing the bet and she just kept on winning.  She couldn’t believe that she won $300 off of him, in one night. Kim’s biggest money game was for 5 or 6 thousand dollars (she put up a thousand of her own money.)  She got a call from a friend that wanted to stake her in action against a former Swedish Champion.  Kim got the breaks and the 6 out, it was a race to 6 ahead.  Kim told me that “He played better at safeties, than I did at pocketing balls.” She learned a hard lesson that day because she wasn’t always pocketing a ball on the break and whenever she came to the table she could never see the ball.  After it was all said and done, Kim was so sick to have lost, she went home and burned the running suit she was wearing at the time.  A couple years later, after earning her “touring pro status” with the WPBA, Kim threw in her gambling towel, she just didn’t feel that it “fit the profile” of what the WPBA represented. Gambling is actually not permitted in the WPBA bylaws. We discussed the WPBA at length, but those conversations will not be included in this interview.

Kim’s first tournaments were just those small entry weekly events.  She couldn’t recall her first experience, but she did remember that she didn’t win.  Playing mostly bar table 8 ball, if there was a tourney, she was playing.  Her first larger tournament experience was the 1998 BCA National 8 Ball Championshps in Las Vegas.  She was taking classes at a junior college when the opportunity to play presented itself.  She went all in, dropped her courses and flew to Nevada.  She bested 437 women to claim her first National Championship Title.  She never looked back. Kim started competing on the Hunter Classic Women’s Regional 9-Ball Tour, now the OB Cues 9 Ball Tour, and took the necessary steps to get qualified for the WPBA. Within her first year on tour, Kim finished high enough to earn her “touring pro status” and has been a top ranked WPBA player ever since.  Her highest finish on the WPBA is 3^rd place and Kim told me that it is her goal to win a WPBA Major (WPBA Masters, WPBA US Open, or WPBA Tour Championships).  Kim said her father was disappointed with her decision to quit school and become a professional pool player, until the moment he saw her competing against Allison Fisher on ESPN.  From then on, he saved every article and tournament photo, essentially becoming one of Kim’s biggest fans.

Kim’s most recent world tournament was the 2013 Women’s World 10 Ball Championships in Manila (early November).  Representing the United States is such an honor, Kim was one of 5 American women to compete in the event, one of four selected to represent her country based on current WPBA rankings.  One other women won a qualifier to earn her spot.  I asked Kim to reflect on her experience.  Kim told me that the event was a somber experience and even though she was elated to have defeated former World Champion Ga Young Kim in round robin play, she fell one match short of advancing to the top 32. She told me that she didn’t know that advancing came down to her last match, that whoever won would be the player to move on.  She said “I prefer not knowing the details beforehand, it adds too much pressure. When I found out the next day, only because someone told me, I didn’t ask. Then I really felt sick to my stomach.”  

Kim and I discussed winning and losing at length and for Kim, “There is no better feeling than winning, ever.” On the opposite end of the spectrum, there is no more sickening feeling for Kim than losing.  She told me that when she used to lose a match that was important to her (all matches were important) she would end up house ridden until the sickness subsided and she wanted to play again.  It is that kind of passion that drives Kim to continually compete at an extremely high level.  I asked Kim if she had any advice for novice players and this is what she told me “Preconceived notions can be your worst enemy; what you think, will become (Zen philosophy). For example, prior to executing a shot, the last thought in your mind may be “that’s a scratch shot”. The player then scratches because his negative thought came to fruition. When practicing, players should work on developing a clear, concise, and positive thought process prior to execution.”

On a more personal note, I had the pleasure of meeting Kim back in 2011, when Bogie’s hosted the WPBA Regional Tour Championships. She exudes southern charm, but also demands the respect that she gives to each and every person.  She is the kind of person I would always want on my side, both on and off the table.  When we talked about personal relationships and people that influenced her life, she wanted to thank her husband John Newsome. She told me “He supports me in all I do. He’s not only a successful attorney, but a fantastic player as well. I am really lucky.”  I would like to personally thank Ms. Lone Star Kim White-Newsome for taking the time out of her very busy schedule to conduct this interview with me.  If you are interested in finding out more information on Kim or the Lone Star Tour, please check out the following websites: http://www.lonestaroftexas.com/ and http://www.lonestarbilliardstour.com/

The Fear Factor

Once you have pocketed your first ball, ran your first rack, beaten someone you look up to, and so on, you are destined for the moment that fear comes into play. We are all familiar with the cliche, "there is nothing to fear but fear itself." In billiards, just like every other aspect of our lives, conditioned response to positive outcomes creates an innate sense of fear. I don't want to lose that job, that car, or whatever it might be. In the last year, I have started focusing more on my mental game, on acknowledging the emotions I feel when I play. As much as I hate to admit it, I know that fear is HUGE.

Being afraid to lose and having a passion to win are two very different sides of the same coin. While one makes us tentative, the other makes us aggressive. Until I won my first championship, I was never afraid of losing, of being beaten by somebody that no one expected me to lose to. It's a complicated process, but ultimately once you start winning in this game, the expectation to win against this player or that player pulls you from the essential element to actually winning, and that is absolute, complete presence. Some call it Zen, others call it mindfulness, but ultimately when a thought comes to mind that creates a sense of fear, as a person you must establish an understanding of why it does so, otherwise you are destined to repeat...

There are many strategies for dealing with fear of failure, but during competition the only techniques that I have found to work for me are breathing exercises and misdirection, both of which force me to focus on this moment only. If I am losing focus and feel the fear creeping in, I focus on the coolness of breath while I breathe in through my nose. While seated in your chair, close your eyes and breathe. On inhalation, you feel the cool breath across the nostrils... This can force presence. Also, I have a rock that I carry with me. If the breathing isn't working, I will take it from my pocket and put it in my shoe or bra (yes, this second option won't be available to men). Whatever you can do to create the sensation of feeling something that is only here and now is the key.

When you place value on the outcome, as opposed to the process, you introduce fear. Hesitation and doubt will keep many players from ever achieving their full potential. There is no secret to dealing with it. Be mindful and present, let the chips fall where they may. Happy shooting!

The End of a Dream

As a girl, my mother always told me that I could be anything I wanted as long as I was willing to work for it. It was one of the greatest gifts she gave me and I will spend my life knowing that the strength and courage I have to pursue excellence started there. Unfortunately, like most of us, that is where my attachment to the outcome began as well. I went full speed at every goal, giving all of myself, come hell or highwater, and I achieved many successes early on which pushed me even more to become the best at whatever it was that I was doing. I was a good student and athlete, and aside from what I call "my dark days" (March of 1996-December of 1997), I have met goal after goal and continued to achieve positive results through my life.

In 2006, I finished my Master's Degree in Forestry and got hired to a job in my field two weeks after defending my thesis, a job that I hold to this day. Some would say this is lucky, especially nowadays when many people coming out of college struggle to find work. But like a pool game, without due diligence, that opportunity could have passed me by if I had not already been pursuing it. One of my best friends always tells me that "Luck is where opportunity and preparation meet" and I absolutely agree, 100%.

During graduate school, I was also fortunate to have a really great living situation. I lived with my friends dad, who was disabled/retired and loved me like a daughter. We would watch old movies and sports, eat dinner together lots of evenings, and in trade for me driving him to places like the bank and the barber, I lived mostly bill free.  I played American Poolplayers Association (APA) three nights a week and I really had the support I needed to work hard and play harder. I came into the league as a 2 in both 8 ball and 9 ball and in those three years, under the tutelage of Jessi Nester (owner of Billiards 911), I moved up to a 6 in 8 ball and a 7 in 9 ball, the skill levels I still hold to this day (mostly because I gave up on playing APA for several years). In 2006, I was talking with Jessi and I told her that someday I wanted to play on the WPBA. She looked me straight in the eye and told me that was a lofty goal, that women of the WPBA were of a different caliber, they lived the sport, sacrificing other areas of their life to become the best players in the world. Her words put a fire in me to become one of those women, to play on that stage, and make the sacrifices necessary to be one of the best.

In 2007, I won my first National Championship and shortly after I competed for the first time at the US Amateur Championship (USAC). Here was a chance to earn a spot on the WPBA, I was so excited... I won my preliminary, first attempt, and travelled to Atlanta to compete with some of the best women pool players I had ever seen first hand. I was ready, or so I thought. When I got to the USAC, I played with all I had, but came up well short of my goal, only winning one match and then losing my next two. I was crushed, I spent the next day in bed watching the Lifetime channel with my travel companion, feeling so sorry for myself that I really didn't know what to do with myself. When I got home, I felt like I was waking from a nightmare. What was I going to do? How would I move forward from the despair of defeat?

In 2008, I continued my growth as a player, taking lessons from some of the top players in the northwest and joining the Northwest Women's Pool Association (NWPA). All big table 9 ball, I definitely felt out of my element, but it was new and exciting and I would get to play with women who had similar aspirations as me, to compete on the WPBA. I fought hard at every event, making it into the money a couple times, culminating the 2008 season with my best finish of the year. At the final stop, our Year End Event, I drew one of the best players on tour. With online brackets available, I knew that I would be playing her at 10am. I was ecstatic, which of course meant I couldn't sleep well. I woke up at 6am and went to my local pool room (PJ Pockets was open 24 hours) and shot for two hours prior to heading up to The Parlor in Bellevue for the event. I was in dead stroke, I ended up defeating her 7-1 and going on to win the rest of my matches with a fearless hunger. I made it to the final, the winner would get a paid entry to the 2009 WPBA San Diego Classic. I struggled throughout the match, ultimately finding myself down 8-6 in a race to 9, so close yet so far. In the final games, I slopped a 9 ball in to get to 7, then made a strong runout from the 3 to tie it up at 8, and then I did what we all dream of, snapping the 9 in on the break to win the event and earn my first opportunity on the WPBA. I fell to my knees, so unbelievably happy. Through laughter and tears, I shook my opponents hand and went on to celebrate my victory. I had arrived, I made it, I earned it.

When I went to the WPBA San Diego Classic, I was so star struck that I couldn't really see straight. I went 2 and out, being defeated 9-3 by Sarah Rousey and 9-6 by Melissa Little. During my first match, my hands didn't stop shaking until I was down 5-0, but I came back to win the next 3 games. That is when she really turned up the heat, closing out the next four racks to put me into the loser's bracket. When I came back the next day I felt calm and composed, ready to play.  I jumped out to a 6-0 lead on Melissa before she took her break, then the most terrible thing happened, I realized I was up 6-0 on Melissa Little, one of the best women pool players in the country. I didn't win another rack and as I packed up my cues I knew that I had a lot of work to do to get back to this arena. I questioned and doubted myself and my ability, but knew that if I could get there once I could do it again. I continued competing on the NWPA, having my top finish in overall standings in 2009 (3rd) and playing more and more events where travel was involved. I received invitations to several WPBA events, but it was generally within a couple weeks of the event, so I was unable to accept. There was a place in my heart that felt like if I didn't win the spot, I didn't really earn the right to be there. I carried that with me for the next few years.

In 2011, I signed up for the USAC again and for a second time won my preliminary.  I went to Tampa for the final rounds and went through the entire field without an opponent reaching the hill. I made it to the final and was up 6-2 when I stumbled. I missed a hanging 9 ball and that fueled my opponent to take the next 3 racks to bring it to 6-5. In the next game, she broke and ran to the 9 ball, slightly overruning her position, leaving a tough cut on the 9, which she missed. I made that 9 and then fought through each of the next racks to earn the 2011 US Amateur Championship title and paid entry, airfare, and hotel to the 2012 WPBA US Open.  I went to Tulsa with high hopes and ultimately went 2 and out again, playing Allison Fisher in the first round and then a close friend for my second match. With every opportunity, more doubt and fear plagued me. I was afraid to fail, afraid to be less than what I had hoped I could be. If I wasn't winning, I felt like I didn't belong there. I spent the next year and half trying to sort through my mental game, like a blind person, I sought to become more than I was and continued to stumble as fear and doubt crept into every performance. I haven't won a major tournament since 2011. I have made several finals, but ultimately have come up short when put under the heat.

The beginning of the end came in 2014, just a few short months ago.  The dates for the WPBA Masters were announced in December of 2013. I had received an invitation to every event (although few and fewer) since my debut in 2009. This event would be the same, I just knew it. I booked my airfare and hotel to go. I wanted to play, I could control my fear. As the days passed and I got closer and closer to my travel dates, I was perpetually disappointed that the invite never came. I emailed back and forth with the WPBA event coordinator, I was on the waiting list, hoping and praying for another opportunity. An opportunity that never came. I attended the players meeting and it was here that I began to see that things were not as I had thought. The divisiveness amongst the players was a shock to me. I believed that the women of the WPBA were united in competitive spirit. Such loathing and contempt, I would never imagined possible. It was heartbreaking... Top players felt entitled and looked down at the women who filled the field making the event even possible, the board struggled keeping players focused on the ultimate goal of having more events in the face of losing major sponsors and a struggling US economy. What was the WPBA coming to? I really don't know. Everything I had ever aspired to in the pool world came crumbling around me. I questioned my real motives for wanting to compete on the WPBA and it all came back to my mother's words and my attachment to the outcome. I wanted to be a WPBA player because it meant that I was somebody. It meant that I was the cream of the proverbial crop. It was then that I realized, it was all an illusion.

Upon my return from Michigan, I thought I had everything figured out. I sat down and started to write this piece with the hurt and disappointment a fresh wound on my spirit. This morning I deleted everything that I had written and started anew. What I learned from that experience was that regardless of whether I compete at a world class level or not, this game is not for the faint of heart. There are egos and agendas, like any sport really, that will prevent a majority of society from truly recognizing the greatness to be found in this game. Pool is life, in so many ways, and it makes me sad to think that many will never be able to appreciate what it takes to be a top notch pool player. Hours upon hours of focus and deliberation and you still may never achieve greatness. For me, I still struggle with attachment to the outcome, but I know that when I focus on individual moments, play with my heart and soul invested, I am victorious regardless of the result. I believe in this game and in its ability to bring forth the humanity in us all. Stay present, stay mindful, just be. Those are my goals for this game, for my life. I will never be more or less based on matches or titles won. The world may disagree, but I now know that this is the real truth. In all aspects of life, you will never be more or less than you think you are, our life situations may be different, but ultimately we are all just people on this journey, together in life, loving and living this game. Thanks for reading!