Moments of Clarity

Many of my days are spent in a blur.  As a mother, wife, scientist, pool player, there are any number of things that can be going on in this head of mine, but every now and then there are moments of clarity...  I am having one of those moments as we speak, so what do I do?  I take the moment to purge these thoughts in the written word.  I write to make myself clear, not only to myself but to others, and in these words I find comfort because I know that I am just a person on a journey through this life.  I am blessed to have a husband that supports my every ambition, a family who uplifts and supports me every single day, and a daughter who is along for the ride because it has been destined so.

I don't often open up in this way here, but what better forum than people who for some reason or another like what they find on these electronic pages that are far too infrequent, more often than not.  I am a firm believer that my journey is intertwined with yours and as I am your witness, you will be mine.  My pedestal for today is personal accountability.  The freedom to take charge of your life...  Your life does not choose you, you choose it.  A line from the Wedding Date comes back to me,  "Each of us has exactly the love life that we want.."  or something like that.  I think this applies to all of life.  I know we don't choose for the bad things to happen, but they do, so I'm not really talking about that.  Life is complicated and we make choices every day that directly influence where we are going and the things that we will encounter when we get there.  Why not mix it up and free ourselves from the negative mental constructs that limit our growth as people and souls.

I acknowledge that control is an illusion, because ultimately there are higher powers at work here than we can know.  But acknowledging that you have some influence on where you are in your life is empowerment to the fullest.  I honestly wish I had more faith to rely on, but like so many, I am a work in progress and as Jack Nicholson says in The Bucket List, "I envy those with faith, I just can't seem to wrap my head around it..."  Too true, my friends, too true.

As a person, I am a collector of experience and have proclaimed myself an ethnographer of the pool world.  My love of competition will take me around the world and I am hopeful that the people I meet along the way will be as glad to share their stories as I am to write them down.  I am not sure of many things, but I do know that when I am at a competiton or inspired to be involved with a project, I feel free.  Free of the outside world and all of its problems, our societys' woes, cultural inequality, corruption and greed...  Free of all of it.  There is a new experience before me.  I play.  I write.  I just am.

I wish that this moment could last forever, but I know from my own history that it can't.  Inspiration and motivation are often fleeting in my life, although I have good days and bad.  The every day living arrives with all of its responsibilities and schedules to keep.  Just know that my soul yearns for the freedom and intertwining of our lives.  I'll return with regular programming shortly.  The tournament year is coming, I have lots of projects that I am involved with, and I am thoroughly enjoying most every moment of my life.  I hope that you can take a moment and look at your life honestly and openly, so that you can as well.  We are truly on an amazing journey, together...

                                    Photo taken from www.ascensionwithearth.com January 30, 2013